What a Shitty Situation

 Gonna tattle tell on myself just so I can praise the fuck out of Catherine, my fiance. 

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Required Context: I have had SEVERE incontinence since July of 2023 due to a miscarriage we had. I spent months in adult diapers and living on puppy pads. Now I'm recovered enough to live day to day just using menstrual pads. But I still suffer with it.

More required Context: Cat and I sleep....ahem. Natural. Birthday suit. You get the gist. (All you woo-y moms, don't come for us, Elena has her own bedroom we aren't dumb)
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So. I wake up at 5am with a full bladder. And remember I use a CPAP for sleep apnea. So it's either A) hold it and sleep. B) take off the mask and go to the restroom or C) be a lazy sleep zombie and disconnect the CPAP hose and groan your way to the restroom looking like bane and Darth vaders love child.

Obviously I picked C.

I do my business and clean myself after peeing only to realize.....there is dried...ahem....feces on my leg.

Oh god. Oh please God no. I don't believe in God but if one exists please save me now.

Bane my way back to bedroom only to see a brown  splotch on my side of the white sheets.

Fuck. Welp. This was fun while it lasted. Time to wake up my partner so she can laugh me into next year.
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To this girls credit she wiped the groggy sleep out of her eyes and said wait what? I said "I think I sh*t the bed.....I. I don't know what happened. I need to go clean myself" and I ran away back to backroom to attempt reclaiming any dignity I had left.

When I was finally clean and I returned to the room, the sheets were soaking in bleach, the bed was remade for sleep, and my sweet girl was laying right there waiting for me and held her arms out and said "my poor boy come here".

No shame no fear. Only comfort. God I love this woman.

Granted after we woke up for the day and moods were normal, she began roasting the ever loving fuck out of me. But yanno? I shit the bed. She can roast