Starting Fresh: Transition!

Pronouns: they/she/he

Gender: nonbinary, trans, genderfluid

Name: Nyx

Age: Late 20s

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Let me share a little moment of gender euphoria and an insight into my own transition.

*TMI content and photos ahead for education purposes!*

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Glossary:

• AFAB: 
• assigned female at birth
• Enby: 
• a term used by some nonbinary people as a shortened form of nonbinary; a less formal way to express gender.
• Transition: 
• the process through which a trans person or gender expansive person transitions to match their gender.
• Packer: 
• A transition item that is basically a prosthetic penis, but can very in function from purely aesthetic to fully functional depending on price and quality.
• Packing boxers: 
• Boxers style underwear made with a pouch specifically for use with a packer.
• Masc/Femme: 
• Masculine/Feminine

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    When I initially came out as nonbinary and trans, I was in a very abusive DV situation and was unable to fully and safely explore my gender expression and gender fluidity. Specifically I had to suppress my masc side, to the point of convincing myself I didn't even have one. It took a lot of therapy and healing to finally start to allow this portion of my identity to come to light. That said, I have always been the enby who wanted ALL of the things with my body. Penis. Vagina. Breasts. My internal body map has all of the possible parts. Because of this, my gender dysphoria is purely around what my body lacks, and not what it already has.

    My amazing girlfriend recently bought me a cheap starting packer and a pair of packing boxers to help me express and explore my masc side and holy SHIT y’all. I’ve never felt more like myself than when I’m wearing it. I feel sexy. I feel confident. My sex drive got quite the boost. My mental health is better. It is a NIGHT and DAY difference to every other bit of gender euphoria I've ever felt.

    Not only that, but wearing my packing makes dealing with the few things that DO give me dysphoria (menstrual cycles, incontinences, etc) so so so much easier. I just throw my boxers and packer on over whatever period/incontinence product I’m using and boom. I’m on my period AND I have a dick. Ultimate gender cryptid move and I love it lol. I feel like ME. It feels *right*. It’s that “click” we all want and wait for and DAYUM mine smacked me in the face.

So my girlfriend and I went back and got 3 more pairs of the packing boxers and have plans to invest in a more durable, and more functional, packer soon.

    Oh, and yea! I plan to start HRT soon. (Testosterone. My appointment is set for the end of September!). Hoping for bottom growth and who knows, maybe I’ll grow a beard just for fun before I shave it all off.

    Either way I’m so excited to really be taking off on this journey and I’m so thankful so have such accepting and supportive people in my life. Come along for the ride everyone!

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To fellow gender expansive folk who may want to see what the packer looks like out of package, or more info in general, feel free to comment or DM. I always love to help where and when I can.