Month 1 Recap: HR(t)

 9/27/2023-10/24/2023

Days 1 - 28

Today is day 29 of my HRT diary! Holy shit! As of writing this, I have just taken my 5th injection.  Let's throw together a quick little list of the changes we've seen during month 1. 

Month 1:
September 27th 2023 - October 26th 2023
Days 1 - 30

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Week 1
September 27th 2023 - October 3rd 2023

1. NSFW: 
1. When I find alone time and find myself aroused, I have a daily habit to get into our shared toy box and do my thing. Well today, I noticed I could FEEL things with my fingers, and it was bigger. Not by a lot but I KNOW my anatomy, and my AFAB parts are heavily hooded and usually don’t extend past the hood even when aroused. Today was different, and that is ALL I will say to anyone about my genitals. Then when all was done it was less plump, but still slightly larger than I am used to. I HAD MY FIRST ERECTION! And not only that, but I have growth!!!!!! On day fucking 2!!!! I’m gonna cry
2. Also….It’s itchy. And I seem to be unable to stop being aroused. Whoops.
3. Noticing a change in the way orgasms feel. I’m not exactly sure how to describe it. It’s not bad. It’s different. But it’s nice
4. Why am I so horny. How do I stop being horny. I own an entire box of toys. I have a very healthy sex life and a partner who is more than willing to assist. But no matter what I try, it doesn’t STOP. And it’s not emotional, it's physical. I can FEEL this…..tingling? Fullness? What the hell? I expected sensitivity, and I expected to want to have sex more. But being PHYSICALLY aroused more when I just wanna take a nap? Or watch tv? Like…..ok chill.
5. As I have mentioned before, my partner and I have a very healthy amount of communication regarding intimacy. I had asked her to let me know before I ever even started T, if she noticed any changes in my anatomy. During the night of day 5 into the morning of day 6, during an intimate moment, she informed me she was noticing changes, though struggled with describing them.
6. Holy fucking CHRIST I cannot sit comfortably. No position takes the pressure off enough to make it comfortable below. ACK. I was warned. I know. But ACKKKK.
7. I still cannot sit comfortably. Or lay comfortably. No position takes the pressure off enough to make it comfortable below.
8. As I mentioned in a previous day, my AFAB parts at the beginning of all this naturally laid downturned and were heavily hooded. At this point things seem to be….er...straightening out? Moving upwards/outwards slightly? Not just the clit but also the outer labia, which, hunh, unexpected but I’ll take it. It's all still very much a tiny bundle tucked away where it’s at but it's starting to plump up and shift. That’s the best way I can really put it I think.
2. Vocal Changes: 
1. My fiancé and I sing together every day. We are very musical and Spotify is ALWAYS playing. We were singing this morning and my voice just refused to hit this note I’ve always hit before. I tried several times and couldn’t hit the note at all. My voice just straight cracked and went NOPE when singing soprano. Specifically my very high, very belty notes. I can still hit my very high breathier ones.
2. Singing those high notes is getting harder but i'm trying to continue to exercise my singing range. I don’t care how low my talking voice gets, but I’d like to keep so me of my higher singing range. Daily singing to try to help.
3. Hygiene: 
1. Increased need for deodorant. Body odor is stronger and smells different. I may need to change hygiene products.
4. Appetite: 
1. There’s been a gradual increase. So far, it’s been positive for me. I have an eating disorder (ARFID) and the increased need to eat is helping a bit. In the last month alone I accidently lost over 25lbs unhealthily. So this is good for now.
5. Body Hair: 
1. Is that a shadow on my lip? I know I have lip and chin hair due to my PCOS, but is it shadowing on my lip now? I feel indifferent to hair growth currently. I don’t shave my body hair really ever, I just maintain it. My facial hair I’ve always shaved before but maybe we will let this grow and see what feelings arise. I am cautiously curious.
6. Misc: 
1. As night settled, I became subtly aware of my genitals in a way I hadn’t really before. It’s a little hard to describe, but the best way I can put it into words is to say it isn’t painful or unpleasant. It isn’t pressure or pain. But I can feel it in the sense that my brain is aware of it in my daily life and movements, similar to the way I feel and am aware of my breasts as they rub the inside of a bra or shirt. It isn’t pleasurable or painful, but it’s not quite the type of awareness one is used to in regards to those types of body parts.

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Week 3
October 11th 2023 - October 17th 2023

13. Vocal: 

1. Persistent sore throat that will NOT go away. Driving me nuts. Resistant to medications. I have been baffled for two days going WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS MY THROAT SO SORE

2. I think my voice just DROPPED

3. My throat hit an all time sore today. 

4. I was rubbing it and gargling numbing medicine and water. I'd taken the max dosage allowed for OTC ibuprofen and Tylenol every 6 hours on the DOT. I even took an extra of my fibromyalgia pain management medication. I had trouble eating, vaping (nicotine), smoking (medical weed), and also literally had chosen my food based on what would help my throat or at least not hurt it further. I even spent parts of the day silent and nonverbal to try to soothe it and let it rest. 

5. However, I found that to be counter productive. I realized that using my voice in a comfortable chest voice range helped to soothe some of the tenderness. So I sang some poor man's poison and some seether. Then I went back to not talking again. It just HURT all morning. It's even affected my sleep. The throat pain bothers me more than the clit sensitivity. 

6. Just now, before typing this, the pain started to subside and all of a sudden my voice is gravely and feels like I'm talking from my breastbone and not my throat. 

7. The sore throat is less intense and nowhere near as constant. It comes and goes and so does my voice. Sometimes it's normal, sometimes raspy.

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Week 4
October 18th 2023 - October 24th 2023

14. Vocal: 

1. Night 21-Morning of Day 22

2. Overnight my voice really started to drop into a raspiness. It's like the beginnings of Laryngitis but instead of squeaking I'm rasping. That said, the rasping feels soothing on those sore areas of my throat. Using my voice in this comfortable range seems to help progress it without hurting it. 

15. Menstruation:

1. PMS is wild. Moody as hell and crying a lot. Very sensitive bean. 

2. I am officially one day late for my menstrual cycle but with my history of PCOS and irregularity, it's not unexpected. I took two pregnancy tests this morning to be safe. They were both negative. 

3. Mild period like cramping intermittently and some strong cramps here and there. No blood yet but it certainly feels like we are heading that way. 

4. I am 100% dealing with some PMS mood and gastro symptoms. I've been living on tums pepto and zofran for a few days. 

16. NSFW: 

1. Speaking of sensitive beans, the bottom sensitivity is more akin to a UTI now so THAT'S nice. 

2. My right breast.....someone cut it off PLEASE. The areola and nipple have been SO SORE. Even rubbing against the inside of my best fitting sports bra isn't saving me from the pain. The left one comes and goes but ohhhhhhhhhh the right one. We are going to WAR. Righty my friend, GO AWAY. NO. LONGER. WELCOME. 

3. Both breasts also seem to have.....deflated? a tad. Like. Im still a fucking size 51HH. Butttttt we flat and droopy now XD. And I thought breastfeeding made my breasts deflate. NAH IM GRANNY STATUS NOW YA YEET. 

17. Body General:

1. Also on day 4 of a pretty gnarly migraine. I took a nurtec two days ago, a rescue butalbital yesterday, and am now out of rescue medication. I am a pagan and not religious. Pray for me. XD

2. Starting to notice some changes in my torso. I can't place them but my sides/body shape looks "different". Am I losing weight? T doing things? Both? Who knows. 

18. Misc:

1. Someone give me a bag of cheetos and a link to something smutty. 

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Week 5
October 25th 2023 - October 31st 2023

19. Hygiene: 

1. Looking into buying a new deodorant. Mine is slowly stopping working and I need to use so much more of it. My feet stink! I don't even wear socks or shoes. I never leave my house!!!!! This is wild.

20. NSFW: 

1. One inch of growth in the first month. Not mad about that at all. This thing is a plump little monster let me tell you. I get random erections, like a teenage boy. Sitting in the car? Erection that tingles and itches. Eating pizza with my family? Erection that makes me have to shift my weight, but I can't escape it! Crying over my broken bong? Yup. Erection there too. Fuck you, tick tack dick. What the hell is your timing?! I don't want to fuck things when I'm SOBBING.

2. Peeing is weird. I was just sitting on the toilet, peeing like one does, and I COUGHED. And my pee YEETED onto the wall instead of going in the toilet. Like....henh? The urethra in the AFAB anatomy isn't anywhere near the clit. The fuck is happening? Well. Whatever, guess this is life now. 

3. If my boobs don't stop feeling bruised soon I STG I might just cut them off myself. Holy fuck. Ow. 

21. Appetite: 

1. Actually starting to taper out as nausea and PMS symptoms kick in. 

22. Body Hair: 

1. Acne in places I never thought I would get it but here we are. Ass acne? Breast Acne? Thigh? Sure. I have Hidradenitis suppurativa (HS), also called acne inversus, I'm used to that shit. But my NECK?! MY SCALP? MY FUCKIN ELBOW?! The hell?! 

23. Vocal:

1. Yeaaaaaaaaaa we dropped y'all. I'm a raspy, cracky, little bitch but OH I am loving it. I can't wait to see where it settles.

24. Body General:

1. My mother noticed a change in my face shape during a video call. She said I look more like my father. 

2. I've noticed a change in my overall torso shape, however I'm not sure if it's due to weight loss, as I've lost 20 lbs, or the T redistributing things. Could be both I suppose. 

25. Menstruation:

1. I took pregnancy tests every single day that I was late to be safe. All remained negative

2. After being intimate with my partner this morning, she informed me there was blood. I went to inspect, and sure enough, my flow started. My cramps are intermittent but normal for me in the moderate to severe range. So far the actual flow is light. Continuing to monitor changes. 

26. Misc:

1. Shaved off my face a few weeks back to monitor the new growth more accurately. Starting to feel itchy stubble on the chin. Here we go.