Month 2 on HRT

Month 2 (Weeks 5-9): 

October 28th - November 28th

Days 32 - 62

Week 5 
October 28th 2023 - October 31st 2023

1. Menstruation
1. Oct 24th - Oct 29th
2. The period shits. Oh GOD the period shits. Mother nature why hast thou forsaken us. Shit isn't supposed to be liquid fire. And it CERTAINLY isn’t supposed to run down my leg because I stood up out of my goddamn chair. Get fucked you stupid vampire. No one wants your bloody curse.
2. Mood
1. Lot of ups and downs in mood specifically on the morning of the 31st. Sleepy, hyper, struggling with communication externally and verbally despite fully lucidity in mental state other than some mild seizure activity. Unsure if related to hormone fluctuations post menstruation or something else.
3. NSFW
   
1. Orgasm’s have made a very large change in a very fast period. When masturbating, I find I enjoy penetration less and less than I used to. I don’t dislike it, I still very much enjoy penetration. But I tend to go for Bean/Peen stimulation as my “favorite” for a quickie. Directly after an O, I have to QUICKLY remove whatever I am using or the stimulation is immediately overwhelming post O.
2. The PeenBean has a mind of its OWN. If it DOESN’T get enough attention during a session, it doesn’t matter how satisfied I am, that thing will continue to itch and throb and remind you that it’s THERE.

Week 6
November 1st 2023 - November 7th 2023

1. NSFW
1. When I went to masturbate I REALLY noticed what I feel like calling my first true erection. It was plumper and actually protruded past my hood by 2 to 3cm. After all was said and done and I was relaxed, I explored the area and it was back to the 1 inch of plumpness still tucked at the level of the hood. I am…..the gender euphoria is astounding.
2. Sex has never frustrated me before. I get sad, or pent up, or desperate. I feel all the things. But I have never had it make my OVERALL mood be irritable like this before. 
3. I'm having to take breaks during sex to pee almost nightly. That wasn't a thing before. Not sure what that's about but it's getting quite annoying. 
2. Facial Hair
1. I realized I like it on me. But i hate it with long hair on me, which is why it's always bugged me before with my pcos hirsutism. But now that my head is buzzed, I love my little chin fuzz.
3. Vocal
1. Throat got HORRIBLE  while out doing biweekly custody drive (4 hour drive round trip. Had to resort to sign language at one point. Drank and gargled SODA out of desperation. 
2. All of a sudden my partner said she HEARD a notable drop. Followed by an analysis on octave details as me and her are both musical/voice nerds. 
3. Had to use a messaging app to communicate with my partner that I needed to take a talking break until my throat was in a happier place.
4. Partner still noticing a few drops and gravely moments. Waiting for the big big drop we all know is coming. 
5. Partner has also stated that when I point to where my pain is located in my throat, it appears to be in the location my adams apple would be if I had one.
4. Body General
1. My body image in general has changed. I find I like my face and reflection more. I could never make silly faces or let myself loosen up publicly before. Now, I can take silly photos with my kid and not hate everything about my face and body. It's……unexpected but so freaking nice. 

Week 7
November 8th 2023 - November 14th 2023

1. NSFW
1. Sex and Orgasms
1. Orgasms are going through another big change. I’m taking longer to reach them, both solo and non, and in all areas. And the way they FEEL is so different. 
2. My BIG orgasms (the “squirts, creams” whatever you wanna call it. The really good ones) felt like a deep warmth near the cervix before a flooded release. 
3. Now the build up feels the same, but as soon as we cross the threshold into “ok THIS IS HAPPENING” it’s like the feelings of pleasure get extremely tight, then briefly stop. My face and head get warm, but the desperation increases. Then my entire body jackknifes or stalls and the sensations come back as a white hot explosion. It’s an insanely vast difference in experience that’s a tad overwhelming and difficult to explain in words. 
4. I find the extreme hypersensitivity something that I'm autistically adjusting to a little more slowly than I had initially expected. Though it isn’t an unwelcome change by any means. 
5. I’m a bit self conscious about some of the new sounds I’m making as my orgasm’s change.
1. I feel like at some points I sound like a goddamn chimp or monkey, Others I growl? And I’m pretty sure I TRILLED 
2. I’m grunting more and moaning less. 
3. I feel animalistic and while it’s not unwelcome it’s a very big change in my sexual personality and I am very very very self conscious of it and of how it’s being perceived as things are changing. 
2. Growth 
1. Partner said a statement during intimacy that really stood out to me last night “growing all the time you are”. The bliss. The euphoria. The absolute happiness. I can’t even express how fucking good it feels. I almost cried during sex….again.
2. During a heated moment of kissing my partner before she left for work, I felt my arousal tap against the menstrual pad I wear for urinary incontinence. That’s new. We really ARE starting to protrude.
3. Can confirm I do get erections. Complete with hardening, growth, engorgement, etc. It’s….fucking surreal. I’ve always wanted this. Every day I'm cheering on my little bean like GROW BUDDY GROW.
4. Huge growth spurt. 1 inch flaccid, tingly, painful, itchy. Something’s happening today and whewy. I'm a horny little shit. 
1. My labial apex is hairy and itchy and oh my god AH
2. Took my 8 week bottom growth photo today and compared it to my pre - t photo and I AM SOBBING. The change is huge. The euphoria is palpable. Oh my fucking god. 
2. Mood
1. Easily irritated and overstimulated and overwhelmed. I am a FRAGILE bean. Luckily I have a fucking amazing partner who has had some beautiful talks with me and helped me find ways to adjust and manage everything. 
2. With that said, I’m finding I’m able to calm back down much quicker now and find my rationality again much faster. Progress!
3. Throat
1. Started hurting around the time I took my injection. Unrelated as it started JUST before/during. But timing is a tad comical. TESTOSTERONE POWER: ACTIVATE. CLASS B: LAVA THROAT *angry gender cryptid noises*
2. Spending a good portion of the morning nonverbal and chugging whatever I can drink. Soda, tea, etc. Just, ow. The children (4 year old human child, 3 year old dog, 1 year old puppy) are learning I cannot yell at them and have begun taking advantage. May the odds ever be in your favor, munchkins.
3. HOWEVER my fiance says my voice sounds “fuller”. She said even when I flip into higher registers or sounds, there's more there to voice, like it filled out overnight and thickened.
4. Noticing a new pattern. I wake up every day and spend all morning into early afternoon with a sore throat. Ouch
4. Facial hair
1. Patchy but its pretty dang long in places
2. Panic Shaved my face in the shower last night and cleaned it today. The patchiness I think is what did me in. I’d like to try a full soft beard that's thin and just barely a shadow. My goal would be more than stubble, that covers the lip and below the bottom lip, ear to ear, chin, etc. But holy gods the fucking 2 inches of chin horns wasn’t my vibe and it HAD. TO. GO. No shave Nov starts now. Let’s try this again.
5. Misc:
1. I had a fear of ending up as TOO masc as I'm very genderfluid. But, that said, the more masc I become, the more I realize how comfortable it is. Like...I was so scared and I wanted to hang on to my nonbinary femininity. But I can still do that. My mannerisms. My clothing. Whatever. My BODY has never felt more like mine. And that's shocking mentally due to those fears of being hyper masculine, but good god does it feel like home.
6. Chronic Illness
1. Hidradenitis suppurativa (HS)
1. Over the past 3 days I have developed a pretty bad HS flare and it seems to be going in the direction of a full body flare. I have two clusters of 3 on my ass cheek where it touches the perineum. They are in the inflamed and itchy phase but the pain is coming. I feel it.
2. I also have one cluster of 2 on my mons pubis. Already bleeding and draining. Day 2 of THAT shit.
3. Left armpit has a cluster of 3 in the same stage as the ass ones.
4. Someone help my life is about to be fucking wrecked. First flare in over 6 months. Fuck. fuck. Fucking FUCK.  

Week 8

November 15th 2023 - November 21st 2023

1. NSFW
1. When I masturbated, as I orgasmed I felt my clit pulse with each wave of the orgasm. That’s new. Usually the pulsing is very small and comes in the after bliss. But this was….Like. HARD. PULSING during the O, as PART of the O. Like….it felt GOOD. Uh….Yea my beans a peen!
2. My first few weeks of growth was just "little nubbin be plumpin" now theres a defined head/shaft and shes ITCHY
2. Testosterone Levels
1. I had my first post T draw on November 6th. Got the results today! 
1. Pre T most recent levels (9/25/2023):
1. Testosterone, Serum
1. Normal range: 13 - 71 ng/dL
2. My result: 20
2. November 6th Levels:
1. Testosterone, Free
1. Normal value: <0.13 - 1.06 ng/dL
2. My result: 4.24
3. Testosterone (Mayo)
1. Normal value: 8 - 60 ng/dL
2. My result: 106
3. General
1. Not a lot of reports this week. We seem to have reached a happy place of linear growth with most aspects of the T, when a few bottom growth and vocal spurts occur occasionally. Feeling pretty good.

Week 9

November 22nd 2023 - November 28th 2023

1. Day 57: November 22nd 2023
1. Injection Day
1. Shot 9 at 945AM
2. Left side Below Belly Button
3. 60mg
4. No pain, blood, seeping, weeping, or flushback.
2. Day 59: November 24th 2023
1. NSFW:
1. FTM Bottom Growth pump arrived. Started using it at 15m a day
3. Day 60: November 25th 2023
1. Misc:
1. OK THIS IS SO STUPID BUT OMG ALL OF A SUDDEN I CAN DO VAPE TRICKS?!?!?!??!!? IVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO MAKE SMOKE RINGS BEFORE AND MY FIANCE WAS DOING THEM LAST NIGHT AND ME AND HER GIGGLED ABOUT IT AND SHIT 
2. SO TODAY SHES AT WORK AND I DECIDED TO PLAY AROUND AND THE FIRST TIME I FUCKING TRIED I GOT 10 PERFECT SMOKE RINGS. 
3. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEFORE AND NOW IS THE T AND THE THROAT CHANGES CUZ OF MY VOICE. 

Voice Video: https://www.tiktok.com/@eternal.nyx/video/7306321545868152106

2 month Update Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7ctJrIeTa4